Sexuality is deeply anchored in us. Freud called it a drive and, in the book, “The History of Sexuality” it is described as “the most animalistic drive of man”. Without it, we would not be here today. Sexuality is a natural part of our lives and yet we feel inhibited to talk about it. Even in bed or especially there. We treat it as a taboo subject and not only with newly in love, but also in long-term relationships the conversation can falter about it (more about this in my book).

One question: how are we supposed to enjoy intimacy or have good sex if we can’t say what we like?

The longer the relationship lasts, the more we think we know the other person. But is it really like that? We think we can guess his thoughts or know his desires – and those already in advance! We act in bed believing that the other person likes what we are doing. Over time, sex becomes bland, boring and the thrill is missing. Bad relationships certainly kill desire, but good relationships are no guarantee either.

… how to unblock…?

When we have sex, we act according to our feelings and not according to our intellect. For this reason, taboos should be addressed before sex, in a quiet environment, because taboos are very closely linked to shame. However, this does not mean that one is immediately successful and the other person opens up. This takes time and often several conversations with each other. Taboos originate from restrictive rules or prohibitions that were usually “implanted” in us at a very early age (family, social environment, culture, etc.). According to Psychology Today: Let’s Talk About the Taboo of Sex!

Desire, lust, erotic fantasies are not just a male domain: women have them too. Erotic films for women have been around for years – they are called porna. Most sex films in the last 40 years have been geared towards men’s fantasies and needs – but for women they are not very arousing ☹ But what do women want? Psychology Today wrote about it – Here

… Sex tips…

Fantasies should be addressed… Sex toys for both sexes have long been available that could help make sex life more interesting again. Or how about a role-playing game in which we find ourselves in an adventure? This way we experience something new, completely different: hotel guest maid / handyman housewife or as two strangers in a hotel?

Goodbye “Sunday sex”, welcome adventure!

Have fun 😊