The literal definition of teamwork is “co-operation in a team, usually a group of employees” (Wikipedia). In short, people who can work in a team are called “team players”. A buzzword often used in job adverts to describe the skills and abilities a person needs to work with others.
When is someone a team player?
Team players are characterised by a high level of emotional intelligence and have a tremendous talent for communication. This means that they are not only able to empathise with other people, but can also clearly communicate what is important to them in order to achieve goals together as a team (Study).
But bosses are not known for pulling out an online dictionary and looking up the meaning of a word. They have an idea of what it might mean and expect everyone to (more or less) identify with their way of thinking. With a bit of literary exaggeration, the following person is a team player: she has breakfast, lunch, afternoon coffee with others, can regularly talk about certain topics (e.g. work, children, household, weather, restaurant, sports), is always ready to jump in and help (when asked), no matter what she is doing. She also organises events and programmes for everyone. In short: someone who is always available in thought(!) and in deed, at least six days a week (including online WhatsApp presence).
Team – personalities – characters
The problem starts with the fact that everyone has a different level of emotional intelligence, as well as different communication skills. A lot depends on the personality type, see Study Smarter: Introverted, extraverted or ambivert. (More on this in my book Young Personality Types.) Society has fundamentally developed in the direction of extraverts: Towards those who make themselves visible (verbally or in action), they stand out more from others and their voices are (understandably) better heard. All those who can communicate easily (“out loud”) can assert themselves better. They are more active in the workshops and exert a (often positive) attraction on those who are more reserved.
However, putting myself in the foreground is not everyone’s cup of tea and should not be expected of them. The media today is full of the acceptance of differences and their importance. It is rather a contradiction when we judge differently those who do not express their ideas out loud to others. This expectation is (rather) in stark contrast to the acceptance of differences. Similarly, it should be recognised that building a new relationship (for a new employee) or breaking a relationship (when someone leaves the company) happens at a different “pace” (usually more time and energy) for an outward-facing person and an inward-facing person.
Small talk or “light communication” (chatting)
The definition of small talk probably does not come from introverts. It is a form of communication that is an easy, friendly, flowing form of conversation. It is also the means of expression and (in many cases) the expectation of extraverts towards others. By this definition, an introvert could be categorised as uncommunicative (!) as they often prefer “deeper” conversations to superficial ones. In addition, some people with a more introverted personality feel under pressure to learn “small talk” in order to fulfil these expectations and not feel excluded.
Being introverted is not synonymous with being shy: they tolerate a lower dose of social interaction and more often crave silence (to digest things in relation to themselves and others) (read more: Symply Psychology – Signs of an Introvert Personality: Types, Traits & Characteristics).
Light chatting can be superficial (weather, family, restaurant, sports) and necessary when the brain is tired and wants to switch off (we don’t always want to “philosophise”). However, there are times when we simply want to immerse ourselves in a topic (extraverts are advised to master this if they haven’t already).
Stigmatisation in the workplace instead of communication?
There is often pressure and expectation in the workplace: a preference for a certain type of behaviour and a certain form of communication. Those who ‘step out of line’ are easily stigmatised because they do not adhere to a pattern of behaviour and communication that others expect of them. Consequently, they can easily fall into the “not a team player” category. This stigma is either impossible or very difficult to remove. To build a good community in the workplace, acceptance of being different without stigmatisation must be fundamental (it’s worth thinking about this: if society were introverted, then extraverts would be “different”). In this sense, society (also) sets this norm. A good manager must be able to “reconcile” all forms of communication. If he cannot do this, he will move in one direction or another (and stigmatise accordingly).
Team building with “boundary compliance”
Good team building is all about socialising and being part of a community. However, this can only happen if someone does not feel pressurised and their boundaries are respected and accepted by others. Boundary violations cause stress, depression, anxiety and other negative feelings that can lead to mental illness (and are colleagues and bosses aware of this?). It is much easier to stigmatise someone than to accept the other person’s boundaries (and take the time to get to know the other person). It is the fault of every employee (not just the boss) when this happens to a team member. That’s why team workshops, outings (voluntary participation) and other activities (e.g., after work – like after-work drinks or pool) can help.
And finally, a list of 23 successful introverts: 23 of the Most Amazingly Succesful Introverts in History
I think introverts and extraverts could learn a lot from each other…. 😊
Lisa
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