Two complete strangers meet on a first date. The question is: how much do they reveal about themselves, what strategies do they use to get the best possible result from the date?
According to Science Daily: “Hard to get” it pays off when dating: ” A person who is perceived as hard to get is associated with a greater mate value”.
Finding a suitable place for the first date where you can talk undisturbed is a must. A well-groomed appearance and an appropriate outfit, but not overdressed, should also be a matter of course. No one wants to sit opposite a woman or man who smells of cooked food / laundry or sweat (unless you’re into that 😊).
Like a business lunch, small talk is great for lightening the mood. Not only women, but also men might be tense on a date: each party wants to show (or rather – portray) their best side. Since women are usually more talkative than men. For them it is natural to talk about their lives (even for hours) and men have more of a tendency to remain silent, not ask a question and listen. The conversation becomes a “lecture” where one speaks and the other is silent.
No one is saying that men are not communicative. But you should only ask them. They like to talk – about themselves and ask fewer questions of the woman. Why? Self-promotion is usually important for them and at the same time it does not mean that they are not interested. Read more here: Why We Love Talking About Ourselves?
An interesting fact to consider: Content, vocal delivery and body language work together in a 7%-38%-55% ratio; according to this, 93 per cent of communication is non-verbal (see: Difference Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication)
Simply put: we should pay attention to what the non-verbal signals are telling us. Are content and body language in harmony? Does he/she lean forward (without shifting his/her weight) or lean away, does he/she turn his/her upper body towards me or away? Does the other have “open” body language (in plain language: no hands crossed together in front of the chest, forming a barrier)? Does he/she sometimes touch my hands? Does the other person often look away or does he/she seek eye contact? Body language is more honest than spoken language.
More here: Make Body Language Your Superpower
See body language in context. Den, content and body language should match. This makes it easier to judge whether the other person is genuinely interested in you or whether we should keep looking.
Maybe pay attention to this on your next date? 😊
Want to read more about it? See: Communication between Man and Woman