The digital age in which modern society lives has led to many activities changing partially or even completely. Looking for love is no exception. Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years, and this trend is expected to continue. By 2024, nearly 280 million online dating users are projected, including 113 million dating service users and 70 million casual daters. (Online dating worldwide – statistics & facts)
The first question should be: am I ready for online dating?
Often, we are going through a break-up or our partner has recently moved out of our home and we are thinking about entering the “dating world” (again). But it is important to check: am I really ready and open to meet someone new? What is my motivation? Are you in it to distract yourself from negative feelings, to have fun or to find a serious partner? This clarification is not about judging yourself, but about being honest with yourself.
Online dating is like dating in real life. If you are not ready to let someone into your life, you should leave it alone. Openness and willingness are the basic requirements to meet with someone great.
Take advantage of online personality tests
As time goes by, we change: we are no longer the teenagers we used to be. Accordingly, our preferences regarding partners may also change. The older we get, the more critical, prejudiced and sometimes inflexible we are. We have supposedly learned from our past relationships and draw our lessons from them. Everybody has his or her own preference. In other words, preferences. Blonde, brown, fat, thin etc. Shouldn’t we have the courage to question this pattern? To ask ourselves honestly, who am I and what kind of partner do I want? Certainly, we don’t want to relive the “dark sides” of our previous relationships – let alone take a partner similar to our ex. But do you know this sentence; now I have fallen for someone like that again. That! will never happen to me again….
Personality tests could help us (like Big-Five) to get to know ourselves better: are we ex- or introverted? Am I open or rather closed? How conscientious am I? And if I already have such personality traits, who could I imagine in my life?
Don’t give away too much personal information
Giving out less information is always better because intuitively we want to protect our privacy. Personal email address that we use with family or friends should not be given out: rather open a new email account that is only explicitly used for online dating contacts. The same goes for our home phone number. Instead of writing via WhatsApp, use chat apps, like Threema, where our number is not displayed.
Chat by phone before the first date
All well and good: you’ve met someone online and they’ve been texting for a while. You’re nervous before the first face-to-face date. Why not relieve the pressure by talking on the phone first and hearing the other person’s voice? Then set up a video dating chat via Skype/ Zoom or Teams? This also has a huge advantage: you can see each other’s surroundings (socks on the floor? No curtains or on the contrary, the room is crowded?). Our surroundings also speak for themselves about the kind of people we are (or could be).
Tell someone else the details
If you have a queasy, unsure feeling before the first date (for whatever reason), listen to it. Telling a close friend where we are meeting and with whom can make us feel safe. The meeting place should always be a public place.
Take your time!
Not found the right partner after the first date? Don’t despair: you always have new chances to meet someone. In my opinion, it’s better to live without a partner than with one who doesn’t suit you. You avoid negative emotions, quarrels and loss of life energy.
For me it was/is important in online dating;
– Not to make myself look better or worse
– Be authentic
– Not promising anything if I can’t keep it
– Only give my approximate location
– Be true to my age!
And an absolute no-go: no photoshop pictures! The first real date could end in a disaster (I’ve experienced this myself). And believe me, it was bad to get out of that situation again.
I once read: Everything I don’t find beautiful about myself, someone else finds great about me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have taken me on.
With that in mind, I hope you have fun online dating 😊
Want to read more? – Dating strategies tips – Always show the chocolate side?
Very best regards,